Sage
by Siiillltt
Summary: Emo. Sage doesn't believe in tags. Nobody calls her this, however. As nobody knows what she does or what she is. Near knows, however. Or he will. No direct romance. I give you a cookie to make up for the bad summary. Rated T for self-harm.
1. Clarina

Chapter One: Clarina

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeep. Beeeeeeep.

"Aria, please, don't die!" a young woman said "You can't! I'm only 17, I'm not ready to take care of a baby!"

"Clarina, I trust you to take care of the child." Beeeep. "I trust you. I promise it will be alright. No, stop crying, Clarina. You can do this. Is it... a boy?" Aria asked hopefully.

"I-i-it's a g-girl. Wh-what should her n-name be?" Clarina was now sobbing.

"A.. a girl.. Her.. Her.. Her name..." The machine was now beeping like crazy "Saga.. Sagato.." Clarina held a finger to Aria's lips. She calmed enough to speak calmly.

"Shh. It's alright, Aria. You can go now. I promise I'll take good care of her."

Aria smiled. "Thank you, Clarina." She then lay still. Motionless. Clarina shut her eyelids.

Clarina walked to the infirmary, right foot after left, and continued through push doors until she reached the child's bed, and picked up the crying baby.

"It's alright. I'll take good care of you."

* * *

**8 Years Later, April 28th, 2007**

"Sage! Yes, you should know the answer. What is y in the case of 4947 - y = 5112?" Sage's 3rd grade overachieving advanced teacher asked her politely in a way that says she thinks only Sage could possibly know the answer.

Sage stared at the problem on the whiteboard for about 10 seconds before she said "y = -165" quietly.

"Hm? What did you say, Sage?" The teacher mocked her in a hintingly rude imitation of her voice. Annoyed, Sage said "Miss Kinlynn, you know what I said. -165" more loudly.

Kinlynn snorted "Now, just because your mommy and daddy are dead, doesn't mean you have to take out your anger on poor Miss Kinlynn. 5 points from today's classroom participation.

A few of the other students sighed sympathetically. This had happened to them quite a few times, though about different things, such as money difficulties or health problems.

After 20 more minutes of "learning," the bell finally rang. As usual, Sage was the first one out of the class. She walked as quickly as she could to Clarina's car so there was no chance of Miss Kinlynn catching up to criticize her.

When Sage had reached Clarina, her godmother, she got into her car and told her what happened.

"Ah, I have always hated that woman," she said "ever since our first job together at the grocery store. We were both stockers, ugh. I don't understand why nobody has sacked her yet, that woman."

Descriptions, right. Sage is eight years old, in third grade, and three levels above her grade in all classes. She has gray eyes and long, jet-black hair. She is the average height of a third grader. She is incredible pale and almost always wears green or blue clothes, particularly long sleeves and pants.

Clarina is twenty-six years olf with medium-long red hair and blue eyes, 5'9. She is tan and wears normal clothing. She has an average IQ.

Kinlynn need not be described. Imaging her in the ugliest way possible. No- imagine her as Bellatrix from Harry Potter.

When Clarina and Sage arrived home, Clarina cooked this amazing pasta dish while Sage sat and wrote music, journals, dreams, worries...

At this moment, Sage was worrying why Clarina was making such a dish. Usually she only makes food like this on special occasions or when she has news. She hoped there was no news... as it was always bad. It could be just to cheer her up. She hoped so.

So, by the time Sage had finished writing her new song "Angelable," dinner was ready. She braced herself for whatever news may or may not come. She was called down.

Sage sat at the small dinner table and shifted around uncomfortably whenever Clarina looked like she was about to break into conversation. Eventually she did.

"I think you realize what my technique for telling you things is, right?" Clarina said.

"Of course," Sage responded "whenever you have news, you make a fancy dinner."

"Yes. Would you like to know the news?"

"It depends," Sage said impatiently.

"Hmm. Well, Sage. This is very important, and will majorly affect our lives."

"You're pregnant and getting married!" Sage interrupted.

"...no"

"Well, what's the news?" Sage commanded.

Clarina looked like she was about to cry.

"I have a brain tumor."

Sage was old enough to know what a brain tumor was. She stayed quiet to let her continue.

"Sage, dear, I... only have 2-3 weeks left to live," she was fighting to keep the tears back "they just recently discovered it." Clarina paused, waiting for a response. When no response came, she said "Sage, this is very important. When I die, there will be nowhere to go. No more guardians. You will give this letter to the court." Clarina held out a letter.

Sage nodded and said, "Clarina, it will be fine. I love you." She put a comforting arm around Clarina.

"Sage, I want you to take the rest of my time off of school. We will make this the best time of our lives." Clarina smiled. "Go to bed, Sage." So she did.

**April 29th, Sage POV**

"Sage! Wake up!" Clarina yelled sing-solgily. I woke up and opened the window curtains. It was sunny outside, a perfect day. I quickly got dressed and put my pajamas back in their drawer. I wonder what is going on today! I stomped down the stairs, quickly as I could.

"Would you like pancakes and fruit, or eggs and bacon?" Clarina asked with a joyful smile.

"Pancakes and fruit salad," I say immediately, smiling back at her.

"Coming up!"

By the time I was done eating, Clarina was already outside.

"Let's plant these tomatoes and onions for the next person who lives here!"

And so, days on, we came up with fun things to do.

**May 13th, 9:50 AM**

"Happy birthday Sage!" I woke up to. When I opened my eyes, I saw streamers and balloons and a stack of gifts. Clarina was dressed in her favorite dress. I had forgotten that today was my birthday, with everything going on right now.

Clarina was holding a cake with 9 candles in front of me.

"Make a wish," she says.

**May 13th, 6:15 PM**

After practicing my music for a few hours, and perfecting "Angelable," I trodded down the stairs happily. I admit, this has been the best few weeks of my life. I could smell artichokes and steak, my all time favorite meal. I could hear music, my favorite music.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I could tell something was wrong. The stairs here are creaky and when Clarina hears them, she always calls my name out happily.

Another thing is wrong: Clarina is not coming around the corner to greet me. I stood still.

"Clarina, is everything alright?" I asked. When she didn't respond, I came around the corner and said, "Clarina?"

And there she was. But she was not standing there, turning around to greet me with her trademark smile. She was laying on the floor, motionless. "Clarina?" I shook her, hoping this was a very bad joke. But there was no pulse. No breathing. Nothing. She stared at me lifelessly.

I don't remember much after that. I do remember running to the house phone to call 911.

**May 24th**

I stayed at my neighbor's house for the next few days. Her name is Samantha. She's actually really nice. Today is the day that we discuss custody with the court. After a breakfast, Samantha drove us to the court. In the courtroom, we waited patiently for cases to be solved; for our turn. Eventually, after a man got arrested, it was our turn. "Samantha Clearance," the judge called. We rose and walked to the stage thingy. As I told Clarina I would, I placed the letter on his desk, unopened.

"We have found your father," Samantha said "he goes by Marlan Carsole. We've decided it's up to you whether or not you want to go to live with him, or go to Brock's Orphanage. He has agreed to take you in, and-"

"Mrs. Clearance, I will read this letter aloud."

_I, Watari, owner and head of Wammy's House, have consulted with Clarina Mayflone. We have reached a decision that, with the choice of dear Sage, she will be send to my orphanage, rather then Brock's Orphanage. Remember that_ _this is purely up to Sage. Nobody but her has any right to decide._

_Watari _

_Watari, Head of Wammy's House_

_April 24th_

I think only I saw Samantha's reaction, who rolled her eyes. "Please," she said "Wammy's House is only for the exceptionally gifted. Not Sage. Isn't that right, Sage?"

My eyes began to well up with tears. Samantha did not believe me? "I-I would like to go to Wammy's House." Samantha's eyes widened.

"B-but you're too stupid!"

"Am not!" I yelled.

"The decision is reached," the judge said "she will go to Wammy's House."

"No!"

We left soon after. In the car, neither of us dared to break the silence. But eventually I did.  
"Why do you think I'm stupid?" I ask Samantha. She seemed to think about it for a minute before she said, "I happen to know some people at Wammy's House. A few of them... just watch out for this boy known as Mello."

"Thank you, Samantha."

**May 27th, 5:30 PM**

Samantha drove me to the train station. We decided to leave early because Samantha wanted to talk to me about something. The train actually leaves at 6:15.

Once we arrived at the train station, we saw that the time had been changed to 6:05. 10 minutes early. This train station was the largest and most crowded in all of England. The walls wore white with black roses. I love roses. My favorite flower of all time is the rose.

"Sage, like I said before, I am especially sorry about Clarina. I know she was the closest thing to a mother you have ever had. She's in a better place now." She paused. Apparently she still didn't understand the fact that I am an Atheist. She went on and on until she got tired of talking about Clarina, finally, and moved on.

"As I also said before, be careful while you are at Wammy's House. That boy I mentioned, Mello.. he murdered my sister. I know he did. I was there. But I didn't have enough evidence to prove it. He may claim he didn't. But I swear to God, he did. Don't trust him Sage. Please just don't." Samantha explained.

Coincidentally, right after Samantha finished talking, the speakers called out for train A792 to Winchester, England. I gave one last hud to Samantha and we parted. The train departed. I watched through the window as she waved at me and said, she might've mouthed it, "Goodbye!"

I wonder who this Mello kid is. He murdered Samantha's sister! Maybe I won't run into him. I hope I don't run into him.

And this is how I came to be at Wammy's House.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Review, please? You don't have to, of course. But it will make me happy if you do. SILT

Chapter 2: Who is This Toy-Obsessive Kid?!


	2. Who is This Toy-Obsessive Kid!

Thanks for the reviews! Also, I'm not making Mello the bad guy. You'll see :)

* * *

Sage POV

**March 27th, 2007 7:08 PM**

It was a long, bumpy train ride to Winchester. I've never liked trains. One time, during a train ride with Clarina, somebody had decided to break into the control room and shut it off when we were halfway to Ireland. Clarina's mother wasn't very happy, as she had made this big meal, and it was cold when we got there.

When I arrived in Winchester, I was given instructions to take a cab to Wammy's House. If I hadn't taken any money with me, I'd have to ask someone for directions and walk, so I suppose I should be grateful. While I was on the train, there was this annoying boy sitting next to me. He kept looking for an elbow rest, therefore elbowing me the entire time.

I walked up to what I assumed was Wammy's House. It was a 3-story building with a small sign on the front door saying "Wammy's House." It was completely white and had many windows, with a well-kept garden in the front yard. I walked up to the front door. Do I just walk into it unannounced like it is a public library? Or do I knock? I decide knocking is my safest bet, so I knock.

Seconds later, there is a blonde boy, maybe 5'4, in clothes that represented gothism answering the door.

"What?" the boy said.

"I am looking for a... Watari." I replied.

"Why?"

"That would not be your business." I said with a smile. The boy seemed surprised at my response.

"Fine," he said, and walked off. I looked through the door and was that this place looked like a mansion. White walls, a giant TV, and vases of flowers everywhere. Moments later, the boy returned with an adult. I assumed this was Watari. Watari nodded to the boy, and he walked away.

"And you are?" He asked. I held out the letter Clarina gave me. He opened and read it.

"Ah, Sage! I have been expecting you. I would show you around, but I have got business to attend to. I would have Mello show you around, but he seems to be having one of his moods." Was the boy who answered the door Mello? I wanted to ask.

"Near! Come here, I want you to show this young girl around. You may pick her room." Watari said.

I saw a white figure stand up somewhere and walk towards me. How had I not noticed him? Maybe because he blended in with the walls. Watari gestured for me to come inside. I closed the door, and Watari walked away.

As the boy approached, I began to notice his odd features. He had floppy white hair. Was he albino, or did he dye his hair? He looked like a 10 year old.

"Hi," I said. He faced me and nodded, then looked away. We began to walk. "How are you?" I asked. He nodded again, this time not facing me.

"I'm Sage," he obviously didn't care, as he did not nod nor face me. I just remained quiet.

We arrived in the dining room and many other rooms before we reached my room. It looked neater than the rest. Like most of the house, it had white walls, two beds, two dressers, a lamp, and two work desks. I also saw die and many other childish toys stacked neatly in the corner.

"There are no other rooms available, so I am afraid you are stuck with me. Watari did not want to mention it himself." Near told me. For some reason, hearing him speak felt like an accomplishment.

He walked to the corner and began to continue... his tower of dice? What? And he is sitting in this odd crouched position. He looks like a 5 year old professional card stacker.

"Why are you sitting like that?" I asked him. He did not stop stacking.

"It is my ideal position for thinking,"

"Why are you stacking these die?"

"It helps me concentrate." He stopped stacking. I knew I had broken his concentration. He did not face me.

"Please stop asking me questions. Go to bed, it's late." He begain stacking again.

"Fine," I stood up and walked to the restroom, which happened to be on my side of the room.

The bathroom was spotless, like the rest of the room. I brought clothes in and took a quick shower. There were many heating options. When I got out of the shower, I put my pajamas on. Then, I realized I forgot my deodorant and toothpaste. Embarrassed, I thought about going into the hallway, running into people I don't know while I have wet hair wrapped in a towel. And I wouldn't even know where I would be going. So I checked the drawers, and there was everything in there! Toothbrushes, floss, shaving cream, shampoo, soap, razors... Razors.. I might use those sometimes.

Not today though. Not today.

I go to sleep, tired and hungry, to the sound of dice.

**Tuesday, May 28th, 2007 4:30 AM**

When I awake, it is raining. I glanced out the window and couldn't see anything at all because of how hard it was raining. I stood up to go tell Clarina good morning, then realized she wasn't here. Nor was Samantha. Nor was Miss Kinlynn. It dropped on me like a hundred-point weight- I had nobody left. I had spent those last two weeks with Clarina with granted. No, I have taken my whole life for granted.

I fell back onto my bed and began sobbing. This was new, I never cry. The die stopped. Had Near heard me?

"Are you alright?" Near asks.

"No."

"Do you want to talk about it?"  
Actually, Near, I do.

"No," the dice began again. I do want to talk about it Near, I really do. But I've made the decision to act like I am not interested in Near. It seems stalkerish if I do. I am interested though, just not romantically.

**Later, 7:30 AM**

A bell rang. I sat up, and the clicking stopped.

"That's the breakfast bell." Said Near, making me jump. Avoiding looking at him, I exited the room.

It took me five whole minutes to find the dining hall. Actually, I followed this girl whom I assumed was going to the same place. She actually needed something from Watari. The dining hall was right across from her room.

Though I was hungry when I went to sleep, I decided I'm not hungry now. So I didn't eat anything. Does this place run off of donations or taxes?

I sit at a corner table, as far away from the people here as possible. I sit for a few minutes before Watari joined me. "How'd it go last night?" Watari asked me. "Sorry about the room thing, but there are no others available.

"Well, that boy seems really odd. The one who showed me around." I say.

"Ah.. Near." Watari says, like he's about to tell a story "That boy has a very dark past. I'm not saying anything, though. It's his choice, not mine. Why don't you eat something?"

"Not hungry." I say.

"Ah, alright. Hmm. Well I suppose I should leave you alone, Here is a copy of the rules here, and a schedule for every day. Bye!"

I started with the rules for the suspense. Most are the basic rules of any school. No horseplay, up after curfew, etc. A few were a bit strange, such as:

12) No sugar cubes.

21) Always snitch on people.

24) Never wear plad scarves.

Finally, I got to the schedule.

Stupid classes spread out throughout the week. German, English, Science, Algebra, PE, British Culture, and a free period on Wednesday and Friday. I don't want German, ugh. I guess I better make a good first impression and show up early. So I do. I stand up and exit the hall full of people. I try to go unnoticed, but that doesn't work, as I tripped over a half-drunk soda can someone left in the middle of the hall (sadly people do that), and of course, land RIGHT in front of Near. I sigh. A group of boys and the blonde I've been assuming is Mello laugh.

"They're jerks, don't worry about them. Would you like help cleaning this up?" Near asks politely.

"No, thank you." I clean it up and walk away to my first class, which I was able to find with the help of a hallmate called Amber, who invited me to lunch with her and her friends.

I arrived in German with unease. Discomfort. The eight desks were uncomfortable. Even the walls were painted with uncomfortable green and gray stripes. The chairs were made of plastic, the desks unpolished wood.

"We have a new student today! What is your name, young girl?" The teacher asked. Young? I'm the same age as most of the children here.

"Sage," I say.

"Is that your real first name? A few people here use their first name as their aliases."

Is Sage short for something? Clarina told me what had happened when my mother died. She had stuttered when trying to say my name. Saga, Sagato, is my name Sagato?

"No," I say.

"Hmm, well. Today we will be learning about..."

I zoned out for a while. I decided I might as well start a journal, diary, whatever you call it, instead of listening to a boring lecture. Or at least, how I got here. I did.

The next class was the same.

And the next.

I soon learned that the school part of this place was going to be very... uninteresting.

I went to Gym and found out that everyone, including Near and Amber and Mello. I sighed. Mello. What made it worse, after counting people, EVERYONE was in that class.

After watching people, I discovered that everyone here was either really, really athletic, or really really inathletic. No exceptions. Most were inathletic, including me.

It was absolutely hilarious watching Near trying to hide under the bleachers, but no matter how small he thought he was, he didn't fit. Especially with that position he sits in.

I walk up to greet him. He did not visible acknowledge me.

"Hi, Near" I say to him. He looked up to me, and then away. I sat down next to him.

"Hello Sage."

"Favorite class of yours, isn't this?" I said casually. When he didn't respond, I said," Why are you so secluded? You seem... lonely. And depressed." I blushed and looked away after I realized how personal of a question this was. I wanted to slap myself. Near answered.

"Sage, If I was someone else, someone more social and less 'secluded', that might have upset me. But as you have guessed, I do not talk to people. I have a dark past, Sage. I don't want to talk about it. You are not going to stop trying to socialize with me, are you? I don't need friends, nor want friends. I'm sorry. Also, I am not depressed. I am not going to be your friend. But I will be your acquaintance. The acquaintance you don't talk to. Go talk to Matt or Linda, they'd probably love to be your friends." My mouth opened, then closed. I was shocked and offended. I'm not used to people declining friendship. Very embarrassing. I began to cry.

"SHEEP MADE NEW GIRL CRY! SHEEP MADE NEW GIRL CRY!" Someone yelled. I turned and saw someone I didn't recognize. Heads began turning. Soon everyone was looking at Near, shocked. Near's expression did not change. "I'm sorry, Sage." He said to me.

I spent the rest of the class telling Amber what happened.

**Later, 7:10 PM**

After the long day, I arrived in my room. Near was there, of course. I tried to avoid him on the way to the bathroom. But of course, One: There happened to be a mirror in front of him, and Two: I tripped. I mentally cursed at myself. Why do I always trip? He turned, and then turned away. I ran to the bathroom and took a shower. I knew I iwould not be able to sleep, so I took a while. When all the hot water was finally gone, I got clothed. I scavenged through the drawers for floss, and stumbled upon a razor. I stopped. I wanted to do this. Didn't I? One way to find out.

I disassembled the razor with scissors. I grabbed one of the three razor blades (yes, three, not two) and held the sharp end to my wrist and, well, cut.

The pain was satisfying. It made me forget about the many embarrassing things that happened today. And the sight of blood.

And this is how it came to be.

* * *

DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ! :/

Chapter Three: Heartsick

SILT


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